If you don’t recognize my picture, it’s taraisrad. And I’m using that URL for my other blog, which is more personal. And I felt the Gatsby URL is more for writing, which is what this blog is for. That sounds a lot more confusing than it is. Promise.

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into our past.
- The Great Gatsby 

Spring break was surprisingly fun. I came home last week thinking I’d be cooped up in my house for 8 straight days with nothing to do, but luckily one of my best friends from home had the same break as me and we hung out basically every other day.

Being home every now and then is a nice change of pace, but it makes me realize how much I love Boston. Obviously there are some perks, being back in good old Rhode Island. The weather was gorgeous this week. I didn’t have two roommates to worry about. I got to drive my car and jam to TSwift. Played guitar and piano without worrying about being too loud. My full sized bed, which seems like a king compared to my twin bottom bunk at school. Being with my family.

But as I sit here and wait for laundry to get out of the dryer so I can pack all my stuff (oh, another perk- not having to do my own laundry), I know the 45 minute car drive is going to feel like hours because I just want to be back. I was so bored here some days, and the dull days are far and in between in Boston because I feel like there’s always something I can do. I’ll go hang out in my friends’ dorm, get a burrito, go to Newbury Street, explore, etc. Coming back to Rhody makes me feel like I’m stuck inside this suburban bubble. Only when I ventured to Providence did I feel somewhat reminiscent.

And not only am I excited to get back to Boston, but this week is St. Patrick’s Day. And me, being Irish, am quite excited. Obviously the college experience of St. Paddy’s Day would be out of control on its own, but in BOSTON? One of the most Irish cities (if not, the most) in the country? I wish we had spring break the following week so I could recover properly for what I know will be a 3-4 day shit show.

However, I do not miss riding the T and the always crowded green line…

It stings a little when the person you were last “together” with suddenly has a new girlfriend that you never even knew he was hanging out with.

Despite the fact that you’ve already moved on, it makes you dig in the past and wonder what was so wrong with yourself that you two couldn’t have officially happened. No matter how confident or happy you are, you start to question yourself.

Is she prettier than you? Is she funnier (doubt it, I’m fucking hilarious)? Is she smarter? Is she easier? Does she let her guard down more? Is she easier to talk to?

Then you start to think of all the great things you are. I bet she can’t play guitar or sing your favorite songs like I could. I bet she won’t be able to talk to you about sports like I could. I bet she won’t be as witty or funny as I was.

Maybe one day you’ll realize what you missed out on. Or maybe one day I’ll realize to put my guard down and let you in. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not really sure who’s to blame.

Ever since Thanksgiving Break, we’ve barely spoken. And clearly, whatever there was between us is definitely over. I’m just not sure if the small feelings I still have are because I actually miss you, or miss having someone in general.

But every once in a while I like to go through all my tagged pictures and look back on some things. And by once in a while, I mean I do this every few weeks.

And I noticed the 20-something pictures I had with you in them, were suddenly 9. So then I went through your tagged pictures and realized you untagged yourself out of all the photobooth pictures we took on my Mac that one night… But you didn’t untag the pictures of us together other people have taken, just those photobooth pictures that I uploaded. If you took the time to untag yourself out of those specific pictures, there was obviously a reason. I just don’t get why you didn’t untag yourself out of ALL the pictures of us together, too. Well, don’t worry about the photobooth ones, bro, because I deleted them altogether. And now I’ll probably go and untag myself out of every pictures with you, just because I’m PMS-ing right now and that was a real dick move on your part (which kind of sucks, because I look GOOD in those pictures…).

I just don’t understand why you deliberately untagged yourself out of the only pictures I uploaded of us. Is that some sort of message to me? Why didn’t you get rid of all the other ones, too? It’s not like we even talk anymore so I don’t understand what the big deal is if there were a pictures of us together in the first place. Either you did a feeble attempt to erase me from your pictures, or you don’t want some girl to see them. Either way - it reminds me something a freshman girl in HIGH SCHOOL would do once her and her boyfriend break up… And that makes it even funnier because we weren’t even together because you were too chicken shit to pull a move. 

Eh. I guess you’re just another picture to burn.

PS - It made my day yesterday when I saw the strong wind blow your hat off your head. Clearly a sign from Mother Nature agreeing with me and the fact that you look like a douche.

So I’ve been putting off writing this blog for a while due to the hate I’ll probably get for it, but after seeing so many posts on my dash of people hating on thinner girls the sudden thinspo pictures, the weight loss tips & what not… It’s time for rant that’s been building up inside of me for a while.

I’m so sick of the hate and criticism of skinny/thin girls.

And before someone says “Oh, shut up. You’re skinny so you have nothing to bitch about”… just hear me out.

Would you ever ask an overweight girl how much she weighs? Would you ever ask an overweight girl what size jeans she wears? Would you ever tell an overweight girl “Ugh, you’re so fat I hate you”? No… you wouldn’t. And why is that? Because it’d be rude and bitchy.

But people have NO problem asking me how much I weigh or what my pants size is. Or ask me how much I work out. Or say “Yeah, well that doesn’t matter to you because you’re skinny”.

Just because I’m not overweight does not give you the right to straight up ask me shit like that. 

One thing in particular I saw on my dash the other day really pissed me off. It was a picture of a thin girl with the caption “you chubby girls wish you looked like this” and while I TOTALLY agree that what the girl said was absolutely rude and uncalled for - the criticism of how “skinny” this girl was, was just SO hypocritical that it made me angry. A girl said “I’d rather be overweight than look like this skinny bitch with her ribs sticking out”.

Now, if I blogged a picture of an overweight girl and said “Ugh. I’d die if I looked like this obese mother fucker. Look at all those rolls,” my ass would be ripped to SHREDS on Tumblr. But, because the girl is thin it’s okay to criticize her appearance?

Oh, and don’t forget to mention Monique’s book Skinny Women are Evil. Like, that’s totally okay for her to publish. But if I came out and wrote a novel called Obese Girls are the Devil, I’d probably have my house burned down.

Bottom line: Don’t hate on people’s weight. Whether they’re skinny, fat, healthy, or fucking purple for all I care. It’s rude, regardless.